Monday, January 11, 2016

Final Story

 
Being a U.S. Marshal  
By: Aidan Strader




In a small town Paris Illinois, Raylan Givens is a middle aged man with his two young girls. Everyone in this little old town is kinda stubborn. Not much talking or community walking.
As he continues to care for his kids, he has to work a pretty hard job as a U.S Marshal. During the summer time the kids stay at home with the baby sitter as he works. Raylan works his job for long days tracking down criminals, case after case. It's hard for Raylan to be with his kids after their mother left.
As his two little girls Maddie and Kate start school it is even harder for Raylin to keep up with work. So he has the babysitter take them to school and bring them home. Life's easy going until a big criminal case comes up for Raylan. He realizes he has to leave for a while to go out of state. It's hard for him to tell the girls he has to leave. But the time has come and he kisses his kids goodbye and says, “He will be back in a little.”
Raylan goes after this criminal last seen in Missouri. As he chases and chases the criminal there is no luck so after a week he starts packing up and decides to head home. On his way home he stops at a gas station in Chicago, Illinois to get food and gas up. As he starts to leave he gets a phone call from the baby sitter. She tells him what had happened. There's a complete silence from Raylan. He's shocked, at knowing what had happened to his two little girls. They had been kidnapped. Raylan didn’t know he had fallen in his trap. To drag Raylan away from his kids then grab them from school and no one would know until he's already gone.
Raylan rushes home as fast as he can, “Them flashy lights come in handy.” said Raylan.
As he gets home he tries to find the last trace of his lost kids. He arrives to their school and has them replay the parking lot footage from the cameras.
“It's him” Raylan says.
Those were his last words before he took off. The criminal he was after has his two kids and is running out of the town as fast as he can. Raylan keeps on their tracks and won't give up. He keeps thinking about how his little girls are more important than work and how he should have always been there for them.
There are reports and reports of them out of town.
Then three days into following them he gets a call from an old gas station they stopped at. The lady tells him that his 13 year old daughter Kate have left a note on the front desk for her father.
The note as an address of where he is taking them. He follows the trail to them.
He arrives before them because of a shortcut. He's all ready to stop them dead in his tracks. “There he is!” shouted Raylan.
The criminal gets out of his car with Kate at gunpoint. It's a stand off.
Raylan tells him if he releases his girls he will let him get a running head start to get away. The man is hesitant but a sneaky smile comes to his face, and he lets go. His daughters run to him crying, Raylan puts his gun down for a split second, hugging his kids. The criminal foolishly tries to take a shot.
Before Raylan could reach for his gun. The man drops.
Raylan was planning for this meet up to happen so he called for backup and they were set up before the criminal arrived. Raylan retires from his job and lives under witness protection with his kids and spends a lot of time with them now than he ever could.

2 comments:

  1. Aidan,
    Your story is amazing! I loved how you described Raylan and his lifestyle. You could improve on some punctuation and word usage. To do this you could proof read a little bit more.

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  2. Aidan,
    Your story made me feel like I was there, it was amazing. I especially liked the way he'll do anything to keep his little girls safe. But I think you could improve by give a little more detail about his journey to go find that guy in Missouri. Does he run into problems on the way to find his girls, or when he goes to find that guy in Missouri?

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